


By Your Resonating Light

by starksparkr



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 21:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16668973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starksparkr/pseuds/starksparkr
Summary: Queens is always quiet when it’s late at night. I’ve almost gotten used to it; every now and again, I’ll intervene during a mugging or the occasional carjacking. Nothing too crazy; it’s become almost routine at this point, but tonight’s different. It’s different for me.





	By Your Resonating Light

_“You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have all of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along.” –_ Evanescence, _My Immortal_

* * *

 

Queens is always quiet when it’s late at night. I’ve almost gotten used to it; every now and again, I’ll intervene during a mugging or the occasional carjacking. Nothing too crazy; it’s become almost routine at this point, but tonight’s different. It’s different for me. It’s November 5th. It’s been two years since my Uncle Ben died—since he was murdered right in front of my eyes.

               Today has always been difficult. Not just for me, but for May. She’s been quiet, and on the verge of tears. I do my best to be there for her; we try to be there for one another, but it’s hard. Whenever I close my eyes, I can see it happening all over again. I can hear the gunshot ringing out. I can feel Ben’s blood on my hands.

               “Peter, you have an incoming call from Tony Stark,” my suit AI, KAREN, tells me. Knowledge and Resource Educational Network, or KAREN, as I like to call her.

               “Ignore it please,” I tell her.

               “Peter, your vital signs are showing symptoms of distress,” she tells me conversationally. “Your heartrate has accelerated, you are perspiring through your suit, and your muscles are tense. I have been programmed to contact Mr. Stark in any event that you are in distress while you are out patrolling.”

               “Please don’t.” _I can’t do this with him. I just can’t._ I sit perched atop of a building, keeping an eye out for any activity. I won’t let anyone else go through what I did. Nobody should have to witness one of their loved ones bleeding out in front of you, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. I’ve lost track of the time; I’ve been out here for hours, and the sun is just beginning to rise. Exhaustion weighs down on me, and I can barely keep my eyes open—but I need to do this. For Ben. For everyone in Queens… and for me.

               _You just sat there and watched as that asshole shot Ben. You watched and did nothing. You just sat there, and watched!_ I shake my head furiously, trying to block out the voices in my head. _You could’ve done something. You could’ve called the cops—but no, you just sat there in the car and watched him die. It’s your fault. It’s your fault that Ben is dead._ My throat clogs with unshed tears that I desperately try to fight off. I’ve been trying to keep it together all day. I have to, for May’s sake.

               “Peter, you have another incoming call from Tony Stark.”

               “Ignore—”

               “Command overridden,” KAREN intones. I swear to myself and am about to end the call with Mr. Stark when I see it: some guy in a mask is holding a woman at gunpoint. He is in the backseat of her car—but I know that he’s holding her at gunpoint.

               “Peter—” Mr. Stark begins.

               “Hold on, give me a second.” I swing down to the ground and yank open the passenger seat. In the other seat is a kid who look like he’s about twelve years old; he’s crying and has backed himself up to the window, curled up into a ball. I’m seeing red even as I try not to let the memories of that night overwhelm me. I grab the asshole by the collar of his jacket and throw him out of the car and onto the ground.

               “Go, go, go!” I call out to them, and they don’t think twice. The woman—his mother, I guess—hits the gas on her car and speeds off. The asshole reaches into his jacket and brandishes a gun, but I knock it out of his hand.

               “What the hell were you doing to do?” I snarl, grabbing him again by the collar and pushing him up against a wall in the nearest alley. “Were you going to kill her? Were you going to kill her right in front of her kid? Were you going to take his mom away from him just like that?” I’m screaming in his face, but I don’t care. “ _Were you?”_ The piece of shit is now blubbering and begging for his life. _Good. You should be scared._

               “ _Peter? Peter_!” Startled, I turn my head to the side to see Mr. Stark standing a few feet away. “Kid… you’ve been ignoring my calls.” He sees the scumbag I’m holding against the wall. “Kid, this isn’t like you.”

               “ _You don’t even know what he was about to do_!”

               “Pete, KAREN records everything. Let him go, and we can talk about this. Let him go, kiddo,” he says softly. My eyes are burning of their own accord, and I can’t help but thank god for the mask. “You saved those people. You did good. Just let him go.” I’m shaking, and my face is wet with tears. Sobs build in my chest and are trying to claw their way out of my throat. My breaths are ragged.

               “Let him go,” Mr. Stark whispers. I jump when he places a hand on my shoulder, and gently pulls me away from him. The asshole takes off running in the other direction. My mask retracts as soon as he’s not looking. Something inside me breaks, and before I realize it, I’m sobbing into Mr. Stark’s shoulder. My knees give out, and he sinks onto the pavement with me. Mr. Stark rocks me back and forth, stroking my hair as he holds me. My sobs wrack my body and I tremble violently. I honestly can’t remember the last time I cried like this… except that night when Ben died in my arms.

               “Shh, shhh. It’s okay, kid,” he murmurs. “It’s okay.”

               “No, no, you don’t get it,” I choke.

               “Tell me, then.” I dimly register him pressing a kiss into my hair. “Tell me, Peter.” The memory assails me before I can stop it.

 

               _“Do you know what you want to get May for her birthday?” Ben asks me. We’re in his car in a parking lot; it’s a late Friday night. Queens is busy and abuzz, just as it always is at night._

_“I’ve been meaning to ask her,” I answer casually. “Hasn’t she been eying some of that polish pottery at the antique store?” I know it’s a stupid question; she always drags me to that store where she expands her collection of polish pottery. She’s always loved antiques and old, vintage things._

_“It’s an old Parker family tradition,” he says. “Some of what she’s got are old family heirlooms from way back in the day. One day when you’re older, we’ll pass them onto you and you’ll pass them onto your own children.” He chuckles and ruffles my hair. “You’re a good kid, Peter, have I told you that lately?”_

_“All the time,” I joke. Ben smiles and is about to ignite the engine when someone knocks on his window. I can’t see his face, but I do see the gun he’s pointing at my uncle._

_“Get out of the fucking car!” he shouts. “Get out of the fucking car now!”_

_“Easy there, take it easy,” says Ben cautiously. He slowly opens the door and gets out of the car. I’m rooted to the spot, paralyzed with fear. I notice that he has left the door open—but why? “What do you want? Money? I have money if that’s what you want.”_

_“I don’t want your fucking money.”_

_“What do you want? Just… please, leave my nephew out of this.” Ben reaches into his pocket and tosses the guy his wallet. “Please, just take what you want and g—” The gunshot rings out. The guy takes off running. Ben collapses, and I scramble out of the car, catching him just in time. I gently set him down on the ground, kneeling by his side. I don’t realize I’m crying until a few of my tears drip down onto his face._

_“No, no, no… SOMEBODY HELP! PLEASE! I NEED HELP!” I’m screaming and sobbing hysterically. I put pressure on the wound, but Ben shakes his head. My fingers come away bloody. He’s bleeding out too quickly; the bullet pierced his heart._

_“I-it’s okay, Peter,” he wheezes. “I… love you.”_

_“No, no, no—don’t, don’t talk like that!” I sob. “Please, Ben, please!”_

_“T-take c-care of May.”_

_“No, no, no—don’t go, please don’t go! Don’t leave me!”_

 

               “Oh my god, Peter—I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t know. Mr. Stark is still holding me, still rocking me. I cling to him like a lifeline, burying my face in his shoulder as I cry brokenly.

               “It hurts—oh my god, it hurts, make it stop, please make it stop!” I sob. “It’s my fault, I should’ve done something. I shouldn’t have just _sat_ there and watched as he—”

               “Peter, Peter. Hey, hey. Kid, look at me. Look at me. What happened to your uncle is not your fault,” says Mr. Stark firmly. He holds my face in his palms and looks me in the eye. “It’s nobody’s fault but the asshole who pulled the trigger. Do you hear me? Kid, is this why you’re killing yourself out here?” I open my mouth to say more, but a sob comes out instead. Mr. Stark embraces me gain, stroking my hair and rubbing gently circles into my back.

               “Don’t you dare blame yourself, Peter Parker,” he tells me. “It’s not your fault.”

               “Then why does it hurt so much?”

               “Because you’re human, kid… and because you loved him. He was your uncle. He was family.” I nod into his shoulder, unable to speak through my ragged sobs, and Mr. Stark continue to hold me as I cry.

 

FIN


End file.
